I just had a moment of parenting inspiration... can I get an hallelujah?!

Owen has had one of those days, the kind where it feels like the whole world is at your throat, and his whole world is pretty small with not much room to escape.

Now, Owen is a four year old, so being overly emotional is a pretty common problem in his life.  I don't know about other kids, but both my boys have had particular issues with instantaneous crying at the tip of a hat at the age of 4. Nevertheless, today his emotional sensitivity has been greatly heightened as noted by the constant state of distressing noise in my house and the size of my ever increasing headache.

As I filled up the sink to wash dishes and listened to the crying, I realized it was finally time to step in.  I found Owen in the playroom, took his hand, walked him to his bedroom, pulled him onto my lap, and just held him.  I ran my hand through his disheveled, badly-in-need-of-a-cut, beautiful brown hair and wondered how to help him get through the last four hours until bedtime.  As I sat holding my whimpering son, the simple thought suddenly came to me, "Owen is having a bad day.  What do I do when I have a bad day?"

This should seem obvious, but it seemed like an "aha" moment for me.  A big part of my parenting strategy has been using empathy to help my children understand what they are feeling and then help them learn to control their emotions rather than just yelling and getting mad at them for having emotions.  Sometimes though, I get tired and grumpy and forget my strategies.  I guess I really just needed a reminder of this today.

So, instead of getting mad at my small son, I gave him a piece of chocolate (yes, I suppose that I supported emotional eating - but I didn't give him a whole bag of candy - just one mini chocolate bar).  I told him to sit on his bed and think of the things he is grateful for while he sat on his bed eating his chocolate, and I gave him a few ideas of things he could think about.  Then I left him in peace.

After a while he was playing with his brothers, and then after another while, he was crying again.  This time I told him that when we're having a bad day, sometimes we just need to be alone to calm ourselves down and distract ourselves with something that we enjoy.  I told him to pick either a book or his little music player and to sit on his bed for some relaxation time.  Instead he picked a short video on my phone, but it still had the same magical effect.  After a little alone time, a little distraction, and a lot of love and patience, Owen actually had a really good evening. He literally did an about-fact in terms of his mood, and by the time he went to bed, there was a smile on his face.

I LOVE these kinds of moments because it reminds me that Heavenly Father knows these little spirits that He sent to me way beyond my comprehension, and He knows how best to help them, teach them, and inspire them.  I could not parent without His daily strength, support, and guidance.  I pray for it daily.

Now excuse me while I go take some Tylenol...