Teach the Children

I just read this great talk by Henry B Eyring that he gave back in 1996.  The talk is called "Witnesses for God".  He talks about a conversation he had with a man who was not a member of the LDS church but who has a wife who is a member.  Monthly, they would receive visits from visiting and home teachers, bringing cookies, trying to socialize, just being friendly.  The man, in an attempt to offer then Elder Eyring some advice, said, "You need to tell your people when to quit."

Elder Eyring taught the man about covenants, specifically the baptismal covenant which requires "God's people" to "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places, that ye may be redeemed of God.... that ye may have eternal life" (Mosiah 18:9).

Elder Eyring went on to say to members of the church, "The power of that covenant to love and to witness should transform what members do in other settings across the world.  One of the most important is in the family."

He goes on to talk about taking opportunities to teach the gospel and to bare testimony to our families.  Sunday meetings were consolidated to give families more time to be together and Monday evenings were set aside to give families an opportunity to not only be together but also to learn the gospel together.  Elder Eyring says, "For members of the church, my caution is that to neglect those opportunities is a choice not to keep sacred covenants."

Wow!  What a powerful idea that in order to keep our covenants that we made with God, we must teach our children the gospel, bear them our testimonies, and raise them up in truth and righteousness.  I think sometimes I forget how significant my calling as a mother truly is.  Sometimes I see my roles as merely clean house and keep the children alive and, if possible, happy.  My role, however, extends to a much greater position when I consider that in order to keep the covenants that I have made with my Father in Heaven, I must teach my children the gospel.  I must help them gain testimonies.  I must  teach them to serve and love others.  I must teach them to bear testimony so that they will be able to keep the covenants that they will make someday.

Elder Eyring issues this promise:  "Because God always honors covenants, I can make a promise to those who in faith keep the covenant to create experiences of giving love and bearing testimony with their families.  They will reap a harvest of hearts touched, faith in Jesus Christ exercised unto repentance, and the desire and the power to keep covenants strengthened."

This is such a great promise.  As I work to keep my covenants by teaching my children, they will have a greater chance of keeping their own covenants and of having faith in their Savior.  This is a great motivation to me to work hard to teach my children, despite the difficulties.  I'm motivated to keep having Family Home Evening, even though some nights my children would sometimes rather skip the lesson and move right on to the game and treats.  I'm motivated to keep taking my children to church, even though my one year old would rather spend the whole three hours running around the church halls.  I'm motivated to bear my testimony in church, even though speaking in front of people has always been intimidating to me.  The salvation of my children is worth all the discomfort in the world.

Thanks to President Eyring for this wonderful lesson and inspiration on parenting my children. :)

I just had a moment of parenting inspiration... can I get an hallelujah?!

Owen has had one of those days, the kind where it feels like the whole world is at your throat, and his whole world is pretty small with not much room to escape.

Now, Owen is a four year old, so being overly emotional is a pretty common problem in his life.  I don't know about other kids, but both my boys have had particular issues with instantaneous crying at the tip of a hat at the age of 4. Nevertheless, today his emotional sensitivity has been greatly heightened as noted by the constant state of distressing noise in my house and the size of my ever increasing headache.

As I filled up the sink to wash dishes and listened to the crying, I realized it was finally time to step in.  I found Owen in the playroom, took his hand, walked him to his bedroom, pulled him onto my lap, and just held him.  I ran my hand through his disheveled, badly-in-need-of-a-cut, beautiful brown hair and wondered how to help him get through the last four hours until bedtime.  As I sat holding my whimpering son, the simple thought suddenly came to me, "Owen is having a bad day.  What do I do when I have a bad day?"

This should seem obvious, but it seemed like an "aha" moment for me.  A big part of my parenting strategy has been using empathy to help my children understand what they are feeling and then help them learn to control their emotions rather than just yelling and getting mad at them for having emotions.  Sometimes though, I get tired and grumpy and forget my strategies.  I guess I really just needed a reminder of this today.

So, instead of getting mad at my small son, I gave him a piece of chocolate (yes, I suppose that I supported emotional eating - but I didn't give him a whole bag of candy - just one mini chocolate bar).  I told him to sit on his bed and think of the things he is grateful for while he sat on his bed eating his chocolate, and I gave him a few ideas of things he could think about.  Then I left him in peace.

After a while he was playing with his brothers, and then after another while, he was crying again.  This time I told him that when we're having a bad day, sometimes we just need to be alone to calm ourselves down and distract ourselves with something that we enjoy.  I told him to pick either a book or his little music player and to sit on his bed for some relaxation time.  Instead he picked a short video on my phone, but it still had the same magical effect.  After a little alone time, a little distraction, and a lot of love and patience, Owen actually had a really good evening. He literally did an about-fact in terms of his mood, and by the time he went to bed, there was a smile on his face.

I LOVE these kinds of moments because it reminds me that Heavenly Father knows these little spirits that He sent to me way beyond my comprehension, and He knows how best to help them, teach them, and inspire them.  I could not parent without His daily strength, support, and guidance.  I pray for it daily.

Now excuse me while I go take some Tylenol...

Winter

My boys have Spring Fever...


I have Spring Fever...


Alas, the high for today is 40 degrees, and we need some exercise and fresh air.  I can tell because lately the boys are bickering more than usual, and that makes me annoyed more often.

I'm not sure what to do about the fresh air, but I've got an idea for some exercise!

Enter - Cosmic Kids Yoga!

I discovered Jaime several years ago, and her videos are amazing.  Not only does she get your kids doing yoga poses, but she entertains them with a fun story at the same time. She makes silly noises, sings crazy songs, and pulls funny faces, and the kids just love it.  There are fun pictures in the background, but not so much that they take centerstage.  This isn't the average screen time.  She says that her focus is "yoga, mindfulness, stories and relaxation.... [getting] kids moving, relaxing, and learning simple lessons for a happy life".  I don't have a problem with any of that!

Anyway, we've done it quite a bit over the years, not daily but enough for the boys to know several poses and to feel comfortable doing it.

I definitely recommend her videos as a break from winter boredom and a great way to move your body!

You-Tube is actually a great resource with activities to get those little bodies moving!  There are dancing videos, workout for kids videos, and games like "Going on a Bear Hunt".  Here's a few that we like to do.

Make sure to dance and play with your kids!  It's a great way to get a little exercise and make your kids happy!

Routines

One rule of parenting that I have long heard the benefits but found particularly difficult is maintaining a routine.  It wasn't until about five years after my oldest son was born before we finally started having a bedtime.  My husband is rather spontaneous, as well as a night owl, and would start a movie or a game at 8:00 at night, and I would just go with it.  I, on the other hand, am not a night owl.  If I have to deal with rambunctious children past 9:00, mean mom comes out of the closet.

For some reason, it took a long time for me to realize that setting a bedtime would give me the freedom to have a more calm and restful evening before I crawled into bed.  Even having one hour of peace and quiet makes it worth the hassle of getting the kids to bed early.

However, having a nighttime routine, as well as a morning routine for that matter, has been a challenge.  I find myself saying over and over again, "Did you brush your teeth?  Did you say your prayers?  Did you put your pajamas on?  Put your pajamas on!"

I finally came up with a solution to this problem that solves this problem so that I only have one question to ask..... "Did you finish your chart?"

Oh the simplicity!  Why didn't I think of this sooner!  My kids love having their own chart to look at to tell them what they should be doing.  They don't have to do it in a particular order.  They just have to get all the items accomplished, and then they can put the card into it's "finished" slot.  Let me show you what I did.

I made this one first for my oldest son, Wade.  All the pictures are on a magnet, so they can be easily removed and put into the envelope.  Morning routine is on top.  Bedtime routine in the middle.  Weekly chores on the bottom.  The cards say what the kid is supposed to do and also has a picture to help them remember (especially if he can't read).

This is the chart for my 4 year old son, Owen.  I decided to put the poster board in landscape format this time, and I think that turned out a little better because there's more room between the morning and bedtime routines.  Also, I did the border for Owen's cards in green because that is his favorite color.  I also let both boys pick out the son and moon that I printed out for the envelope.

This is what the poster looks like after all the morning routine is put into the envelope.  You can see the magnets to which the cards attach.  I used sticker like magnets that I found at Wal-Mart.  I was able to cut them into rectangles, and I think that worked out perfectly.

These charts have been made a great difference in everyones' attitude when it comes to getting ready in the morning and getting ready for bed, and anything that puts my family in good spirits, especially when it comes to chores, is going to be staying around for a long time!

If you have any other ideas for how to handle routines and chores, let me know in the comments!

I love how when something is on my mind, I'm more aware of that thing in the world around me.  For example, I never really paid much attention to the trucks I would pass by.  But when my husband started driving a grey little GMC, I started seeing similar trucks everywhere.

I've had the idea for this blog for a long time, but last week I finally decided to put it together.  Since then, I keep having little grey trucks in the form of ideas and inspiration drive by me.  

One of those little tidbits came in the form of a quote by President Dieter F Uchtdorf, second counselor in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I saw this on my Facebook feed, and I found it to be a great piece of advice as a parent.

It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential. ("Of Things That Matter Most" Oct 2010)

As a mother, I am very concerned about my children's self-esteem.  It hurts to see my child doubt himself, and I know personally the pain that comes from belittling and criticizing oneself.  I hope with all my heart to be able to help my sons recognize their divine nature as children of a loving Heavenly Father.  I want them to understand that they are valuable no matter what mistakes they make or what their weight is or what sport they play.  In my lowest moments, I have relied on my knowledge that Heavenly Father loves me and cares for me, and I want that strength for my children.

So, I want to make sure my children are able to follow's President Uchtdorf's advice. Make sure they don't rush through their lives without really finding out who they are.  Take them into nature and let them experience it on their own.  Wake them up early and watch the sunrise in quiet meditation, snuggling in a blanket together.  Enjoy God's creations together by going to the zoo, the park, the mountains, the ocean, and letting them feel God's presence in all things.  Help them learn the truths of the gospel and gain their own testimonies.  And pray with all my heart that they will learn to see themselves with all the potential and worth that Heavenly Father sees in them.