Teach the Children

I just read this great talk by Henry B Eyring that he gave back in 1996.  The talk is called "Witnesses for God".  He talks about a conversation he had with a man who was not a member of the LDS church but who has a wife who is a member.  Monthly, they would receive visits from visiting and home teachers, bringing cookies, trying to socialize, just being friendly.  The man, in an attempt to offer then Elder Eyring some advice, said, "You need to tell your people when to quit."

Elder Eyring taught the man about covenants, specifically the baptismal covenant which requires "God's people" to "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places, that ye may be redeemed of God.... that ye may have eternal life" (Mosiah 18:9).

Elder Eyring went on to say to members of the church, "The power of that covenant to love and to witness should transform what members do in other settings across the world.  One of the most important is in the family."

He goes on to talk about taking opportunities to teach the gospel and to bare testimony to our families.  Sunday meetings were consolidated to give families more time to be together and Monday evenings were set aside to give families an opportunity to not only be together but also to learn the gospel together.  Elder Eyring says, "For members of the church, my caution is that to neglect those opportunities is a choice not to keep sacred covenants."

Wow!  What a powerful idea that in order to keep our covenants that we made with God, we must teach our children the gospel, bear them our testimonies, and raise them up in truth and righteousness.  I think sometimes I forget how significant my calling as a mother truly is.  Sometimes I see my roles as merely clean house and keep the children alive and, if possible, happy.  My role, however, extends to a much greater position when I consider that in order to keep the covenants that I have made with my Father in Heaven, I must teach my children the gospel.  I must help them gain testimonies.  I must  teach them to serve and love others.  I must teach them to bear testimony so that they will be able to keep the covenants that they will make someday.

Elder Eyring issues this promise:  "Because God always honors covenants, I can make a promise to those who in faith keep the covenant to create experiences of giving love and bearing testimony with their families.  They will reap a harvest of hearts touched, faith in Jesus Christ exercised unto repentance, and the desire and the power to keep covenants strengthened."

This is such a great promise.  As I work to keep my covenants by teaching my children, they will have a greater chance of keeping their own covenants and of having faith in their Savior.  This is a great motivation to me to work hard to teach my children, despite the difficulties.  I'm motivated to keep having Family Home Evening, even though some nights my children would sometimes rather skip the lesson and move right on to the game and treats.  I'm motivated to keep taking my children to church, even though my one year old would rather spend the whole three hours running around the church halls.  I'm motivated to bear my testimony in church, even though speaking in front of people has always been intimidating to me.  The salvation of my children is worth all the discomfort in the world.

Thanks to President Eyring for this wonderful lesson and inspiration on parenting my children. :)

I just had a moment of parenting inspiration... can I get an hallelujah?!

Owen has had one of those days, the kind where it feels like the whole world is at your throat, and his whole world is pretty small with not much room to escape.

Now, Owen is a four year old, so being overly emotional is a pretty common problem in his life.  I don't know about other kids, but both my boys have had particular issues with instantaneous crying at the tip of a hat at the age of 4. Nevertheless, today his emotional sensitivity has been greatly heightened as noted by the constant state of distressing noise in my house and the size of my ever increasing headache.

As I filled up the sink to wash dishes and listened to the crying, I realized it was finally time to step in.  I found Owen in the playroom, took his hand, walked him to his bedroom, pulled him onto my lap, and just held him.  I ran my hand through his disheveled, badly-in-need-of-a-cut, beautiful brown hair and wondered how to help him get through the last four hours until bedtime.  As I sat holding my whimpering son, the simple thought suddenly came to me, "Owen is having a bad day.  What do I do when I have a bad day?"

This should seem obvious, but it seemed like an "aha" moment for me.  A big part of my parenting strategy has been using empathy to help my children understand what they are feeling and then help them learn to control their emotions rather than just yelling and getting mad at them for having emotions.  Sometimes though, I get tired and grumpy and forget my strategies.  I guess I really just needed a reminder of this today.

So, instead of getting mad at my small son, I gave him a piece of chocolate (yes, I suppose that I supported emotional eating - but I didn't give him a whole bag of candy - just one mini chocolate bar).  I told him to sit on his bed and think of the things he is grateful for while he sat on his bed eating his chocolate, and I gave him a few ideas of things he could think about.  Then I left him in peace.

After a while he was playing with his brothers, and then after another while, he was crying again.  This time I told him that when we're having a bad day, sometimes we just need to be alone to calm ourselves down and distract ourselves with something that we enjoy.  I told him to pick either a book or his little music player and to sit on his bed for some relaxation time.  Instead he picked a short video on my phone, but it still had the same magical effect.  After a little alone time, a little distraction, and a lot of love and patience, Owen actually had a really good evening. He literally did an about-fact in terms of his mood, and by the time he went to bed, there was a smile on his face.

I LOVE these kinds of moments because it reminds me that Heavenly Father knows these little spirits that He sent to me way beyond my comprehension, and He knows how best to help them, teach them, and inspire them.  I could not parent without His daily strength, support, and guidance.  I pray for it daily.

Now excuse me while I go take some Tylenol...